Archive for January, 2010


If this isn’t a ready-made book jacket for a grim post-industrial novel… I don’t know what is?

Inside the old Stanley Tools factory, Rutland Road, Sheffield, a couple of weekends ago.

Photo by Lorraine Butler


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Have a listen..

This is the start of My Elvis Blackout… the app.

Listen below to a dodgy old story being given a new lease of life  by somebody who can read like like a good ‘un.


Cathy Naden is in da house.

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Looking for a lady..

My Elvis Blackout is now regarded as being a ‘Cult’  book .


I have been repeatedly called a ‘Cult’ over the years..or at least  the word  that most people use about me begins with ‘C’ and ends with  a ‘T’.

Anyway, My Elvis Blackout is  being published again in August 2010, and this time around, it will also be available as an app. for the i-Phone.

Part of this app. i-Phone thing  is that the book gets read out to you if you so desire, and I’m putting together a cast of people to read out  and record the stories. I’ve already recruited authors, musicians, journalists, relatives, midgets, axe murderers, tattooed ladies, social workers, etc.

I also really wanted a human cannonball to read out my stories, but wherever I searched,  I just  couldn’t find a man of the right calibre.

Recording commences on Monday next.

First up  is Cathy Naden of Forced Entertainment, who has generously agreed to play Gladys Presley (and  probably some other characters I’ve not told her about just yet.)

It’s going to be a ‘field recording’… background noise and all, and I’m really excited about having another bash at the book in a different medium almost ten years down the line.

To be honest, and no offence to anybody who is going to read for me, I would have preferred  Barry Scot from the Cillit Bang commercial to read the whole book in his inimitable  shouty style, but Barry is not returning my calls.


Contact me via this blog American Lady, sign on the star and I will make you into a dotted line.

‘Bang’ I say.

‘Cillit Bang.’

Lime-scale is simply Calcium that sticks.

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Sometimes you see a piece of work and think..

“I wish I’d thought of that”

I wish I’d thought of this one.

They’ve even got a guitar-shaped pool.

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Tooth Hurty

Raging tooth pain today. I was given a choice of two appointments at the dentists.

”11.00 am or 2.30pm?’  The lady asked.

Guess which one I went for?

Purely in the interests of comedy.

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Any comments about this blog? My spelling ? My punctuation?

That’s fine. It’s a free country.

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